Lessons from my 25th Birthday Celebration
Upon returning from my four-city, three-week tour of Senegal, I really felt like I was going home. Pikine and my family there have become a comfort to me during my journey here in Senegal. What a blessing to have a home away from home! The weekend of my return was my birthday celebration weekend, and my happiness was truly overflowing to be able to celebrate such a milestone in my life. Since I love birthday parties, especially my own, I would have been slightly disappointed had I not planned anything.
After dropping off my bags and chatting with my family, I took off for downtown Dakar where some lovely friends live. Having great friends here in Senegal was not something that I expected, but these two people and their friends are quite wonderful and with whom I do enjoy spending time. Aude, a dynamic and admirable French girl, and I bought crêpe-making necessities, which would be the crowning glory of the evening. We fried fish and I made a Senegalese onion sauce (really the only sauce they make, or when they say they are making a sauce, they mean one made with only onions and spices). The presentation was delightful and the taste scrumptious. I am getting used and have become rather partial to the communal platter or bowl. It is actually quite convivial to sit around one platter of food and all eat from this one dish. For dessert, we had crêpes, complete with candles! Each candle equaled 12.5 years. What a nice gesture! Playing cards until 2 am, I really had a memorable moment with the five who gathered to celebrate my birthday and an evening of diversion.
The real party occurred Sunday night with my family in Pikine. In overcoming a little frustration, I learned more about Senegalese culture. It seems as if when one travels, in order to appreciate the lessons one gleans from one’s experiences, you must be willing to undergo frustration and a myriad of other slightly negative feelings before that lesson truly implants itself; at least this has been the tried and true process I have unconsciously adopted over the years. Had I been in the States, I would have paid for the party and done all the work making the food, the cake and whatever else was necessary. With my family in Pikine, however, I was simply the financial provider, doling out the money necessary to make the party happen.
I have to say that the action of giving out money can be a little awkward when you are in a different culture because you have to trust that the recipients are using it properly and not taking advantage of your benevolence. First lesson: learn to trust and always expect that an event will cost more money than anticipated. Second lesson: Senegalese families are built on the notion of solidarity. Those with money finance; those without money work for the good of the household using the finances they are given. I did not do a single thing to help prepare for my party. I watched everyone else make the doughnuts and the juice. I doled out money and I served the drinks. It was a very humbling experience to watch my family put together the party without my oversight and as they saw fit. I would have done things a little different; but then again, I probably would not have known the quantity of food and drink necessary to make the party happen—you always have to plan for more visitors than just those living in the household. So with dancing and eating, another indelible and joyful birthday passed.
Tip #2 for Surviving in Senegal: When someone passes you a cup they just finished using and expect you to use it to take a drink, accept, fill it up, and gulp the liquid down. Everything is communal here in Senegal: utensils, plates, bowls, and cups, bedrooms, clothes, husbands, to name a few. Sometimes this communal reality is due to poverty, but more often it results from having a collective society. It may seem bizarre the first time you share one glass with five people, but you will soon grow accustomed and may even grow to enjoy this sense of sharing with one another as I have.
After dropping off my bags and chatting with my family, I took off for downtown Dakar where some lovely friends live. Having great friends here in Senegal was not something that I expected, but these two people and their friends are quite wonderful and with whom I do enjoy spending time. Aude, a dynamic and admirable French girl, and I bought crêpe-making necessities, which would be the crowning glory of the evening. We fried fish and I made a Senegalese onion sauce (really the only sauce they make, or when they say they are making a sauce, they mean one made with only onions and spices). The presentation was delightful and the taste scrumptious. I am getting used and have become rather partial to the communal platter or bowl. It is actually quite convivial to sit around one platter of food and all eat from this one dish. For dessert, we had crêpes, complete with candles! Each candle equaled 12.5 years. What a nice gesture! Playing cards until 2 am, I really had a memorable moment with the five who gathered to celebrate my birthday and an evening of diversion.
The real party occurred Sunday night with my family in Pikine. In overcoming a little frustration, I learned more about Senegalese culture. It seems as if when one travels, in order to appreciate the lessons one gleans from one’s experiences, you must be willing to undergo frustration and a myriad of other slightly negative feelings before that lesson truly implants itself; at least this has been the tried and true process I have unconsciously adopted over the years. Had I been in the States, I would have paid for the party and done all the work making the food, the cake and whatever else was necessary. With my family in Pikine, however, I was simply the financial provider, doling out the money necessary to make the party happen.
I have to say that the action of giving out money can be a little awkward when you are in a different culture because you have to trust that the recipients are using it properly and not taking advantage of your benevolence. First lesson: learn to trust and always expect that an event will cost more money than anticipated. Second lesson: Senegalese families are built on the notion of solidarity. Those with money finance; those without money work for the good of the household using the finances they are given. I did not do a single thing to help prepare for my party. I watched everyone else make the doughnuts and the juice. I doled out money and I served the drinks. It was a very humbling experience to watch my family put together the party without my oversight and as they saw fit. I would have done things a little different; but then again, I probably would not have known the quantity of food and drink necessary to make the party happen—you always have to plan for more visitors than just those living in the household. So with dancing and eating, another indelible and joyful birthday passed.
Tip #2 for Surviving in Senegal: When someone passes you a cup they just finished using and expect you to use it to take a drink, accept, fill it up, and gulp the liquid down. Everything is communal here in Senegal: utensils, plates, bowls, and cups, bedrooms, clothes, husbands, to name a few. Sometimes this communal reality is due to poverty, but more often it results from having a collective society. It may seem bizarre the first time you share one glass with five people, but you will soon grow accustomed and may even grow to enjoy this sense of sharing with one another as I have.
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