Whirlwind Trip to the U.S.
I guess I had always imagined, in my darker thoughts I must admit, that one day I would have to board a plane to return home from whichever country I was visiting or in which I was living to attend a funeral of a loved one. Upon reaching the conclusion of that horrendous thought, I would pray protection over all my loved ones. Never did I imagine that one of my loved one’s loved one’s would be killed and that this event would affect me so deeply as to fly home on a whim to be with her. I heard the news about Shaun Wild’s death—my friend Esther McCarty’s boyfriend— while checking my e-mails at the house of one of the directors of the Beersheba Project. The Internet had been down in Sandiara for several days, so I asked if I might use the Wifi at his home. At first I did not know how to react to the shocking e-mail I received from my friend’s dad.
He asked for prayer and all I could think about was whether Shaun’s death meant Esther and I would not be meeting in Europe come April. I find it truly amazing that when I, as a feeble human, received this shocking news, I immediately clung to the banality of that which I understood. (Has this happened to anyone else? Is this a human condition?) Instead of feeling instant pain for my dear friend, I felt disappointment. I even started to draft an e-mail asking whether she thought that this “event” (Is there a more appropriate word I could have used?) would disrupt our trip together in April. I looked at the cold-sounding e-mail, discarded it and knew that I must fly home. Being close friends with someone means that one is willing to disregard any interfering plans in order to be a comfort or a stronghold for that friend. I realized at that moment how much Esther meant to my life and how I needed to be by her side. Thankfully I was able to purchase a ticket from a consolidation website and was on my way to the States within seven hours.
Apart from the shock and the profound sadness I experienced at the onset of my visit, I had many meaningful conversations with Esther, my family and my other friends. I did my own share of questioning as to why this happened to a man like Shaun, and each time I contemplated what happened, my mind backtracked to nearly a year and a half ago when my stepbrother was killed in Afghanistan and left behind a grieving widow, siblings, parents and family, friends and colleagues. I thought about how Shaun was also leaving behind my distraught friend, his siblings, parents and family, friends and colleagues. I saw their more than 2000 faces at the memorial service and I could not reason why, just as there were never any answers to why my stepbrother died while fighting a senseless war. Both died in the most honorable of ways—saving others from harm—but this fact does little to console a bereft soul. How many times I told myself, almost feeling guilty, that I was so blessed to be there for Esther and to be with my family and friends. My joy was great; yet the shadow of mourning piqued my senses.
Upon trying to reconcile the desire to mourn with my friend and the joy of being with other loved ones, I came to rest upon this one awesome fact: God is always faithful. Every good and perfect thing comes from above. When tragic and inexplicable events occur in this life, we must cling to the hope we can have in God’s promises that he has a hope and a future planned for us (Jeremiah 29:11, which is also a scripture that has given Esther much comfort). I do not believe that this was Shaun’s destiny. I believe a sick young man snapped one night at a bar and Shaun was caught in the madness. During his 24 years Shaun made a wonderfully positive mark on those who knew him. If he had lived another 60 years, imagine what kind of mark he could have made! At any rate, the short visit was enough to be able encourage and hold my hurting friend; that is what I aimed to give and I received much more. I’m praying for you Esther and Wild family.
Comments